#336

Bear Lawyer Reduces His Deficit

Which is not to imply that Bear Lawyer has ever truly operated at a deficit in the first place. What with his remarkable success rate and small army of unpaid slave-interns and newly-minted (that is, palpably desperate and grossly underpaid) junior attorneys, Bear Lawyer’s eponymous legal operation is altogether efficient and astoundingly profitable. Of course, all of said profits are kept overseas and shuffled about through a variety of holding companies in a labyrinthine tax-avoidant strategy that only the squirreliest of accountants could ever hope to comprehend, let alone reconstruct—in which case, as far as the IRS is concerned, Bear Lawyer, LLC is a grossly mismanaged operation that hemorrhages capital as if that were its job (which, to some extent, it is).

Still, one must keep up appearances, and by announcing to his gathered (albeit off-panel) underlings that he will be trimming the operating budget through a variety of draconian overhead cuts, Bear Lawyer is able to appear as though he were moderately concerned with his firm’s fiscal health—as well as make the possibility of a real budget deficit that much less likely.

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5 responses to “#336

  1. Capitalist! Bear Lawyer! :)

  2. PDQ’s Double Irish with a Dutch Sandwich receives a garnish of BL.

    Remember, draconian overhead cuts are meaningful only if heads are actually cut off by a dragon flying over and hemorrhaging should not be restricted to capital when it comes to convincing the IRS of state of a firm’s health.

    • Hrm… HBO should be in-between production with “Game of Thrones”, yes? Mayhaps Emilia “Mother of Dragons” Clarke would be willing to make a cameo appearance to help boost employee morale and/or incentivize productivity during these troubled times.

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