Tag Archives: Glen

#393

Bear Lawyer Goes Over Defensive Strategy

As gratifying as the moral high ground of nonviolent resistance may be, Bear Lawyer has found, after scrambling for cover during many a state-sanctioned culling, that the literal high ground is a far more advantageous position to hold.

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#391

Bear Lawyer Terminates At Will

True, Thaddeus was a fine junior associate. A tireless worker with a near-encyclopedic knowledge of case law. A man whose briefs read like poetry and whose coffee could move even the most jaded barista (or barrister) to tears. But he was also a Packers fan, an offense which Bear Lawyer could only view as cause for immediate severance—and, if the now ex-associate doesn’t recover quickly, discreet burial.

#390

Bear Lawery Coördinates the Defense

Following the afternoon’s master classes in trap-laying, track-hiding, The Art of War, and Kuma Kobushi-ryū jujutsu, Bear Lawyer will be screening selections from First Blood, Predator, The Seven Samurai, Home Alone, and The Return of the Jedi (specifically, the Battle of Endor). After all, come hunting season, the best defense is an overwhelmingly aggressive offense.

#389

Bear Lawyer Provides an Exciting Utterance

One may freely object to the speculative and/or irrelevant nature of Bear Lawyer’s fireside testimonial, but there’s no question that it is quite the gripping yarn.

#388

Bear Lawyer Prepares an Amicus Brief

In the
HIGH COURT OF JUSTICE OF ENGLAND AND WALES

BADGER TRUST
Petitioners
v.
NATURAL ENGLAND
and the RT HON OWEN PATERSON, MP,
in his capacity as Secretary of State for DEFRA

Respondents

(NOT SO) BRIEF AMICUS CURIAE OF BEAR LAWYER, LLC AND BROCK BAWSON, ESQ. IN SUPPORT OF PETITIONERS

Bear Lawyer
Ursus A. Iurisconsultus
Bear Lawyer, LLC
1 Office-Glen in the Deep Woods
Catskill, New York 12414
Telephone: (555) BEAR-LAW (232-7529)
Facsimile: (555) BEAR-PAW (232-7729)

Brock Bawson
Badger at Law
Meles, Bawson, Pate & Grey
5 Burrow ‘Neath the Ancient Oak Tree, Suite 2
Catskill, New York 12414
Telephone: (555) BADGERS (223-4377)
Facsimile: (555) EULALIA (385-2542)

i
QUESTION PRESENTED
Whether the application to grant the Board of Natural England a license to cull badgers for a further 8 weeks in Gloucestershire is lawful.

#387

Business as UsualSome days, you head into the office-glen ready to depose the world and file suit against God Himself. Others, it’s just eight or more (usually more) grey and far-from-memorable hours spend plugging away at mundane briefs and boilerplate memos. So it goes—even for the likes of Bear Lawyer.

#385

Bear Lawyer Revises a Contract

Dear Readers—

“Boswell” here, breaking the fourth wall to bring you up to speed with the recent behind-the-scenes goings-on impacting the world of Bear Lawyer, LLC. As those of you who know me outside of my punning, absurdist illustrated endeavours are (likely) aware, I recently accepted a full-time position with a local, non-law-related firm—a position that has, as a consequence of keeping regular workaday hours, impeded my ability to produce twice-weekly panels in the manner to which I had become accustomed. Although a single BL, LLC panel tends not to take any more than 2-4 solid hours to produce, there are only so many hours within a given day that one can reasonably be expected to tit about in Adobe CS before hands cramp up, eyes grow dim, and buttocks attain the shape and consistency of a hempen sack filled with cottage cheese. One does require a modest measure of active and/or leisure time in the eventide, doesn’t one?

Henceforth, the update schedule for BL, LLC is changing from twice-weekly to but once a week—that is, from Tuesday/Thursday to Tuesday alone, with production being shifted from weekdays to weekends, and subject to amendments and delays accordingly. Who knows? I may even attempt some style and/or format changes as I go, just to spice things up.

All this aside, thank you, dear readers—both for your patience going forward, and for your continued interest in the ongoing (mis)adventures of this well-intended ursine juris doctor.

As ever, I faithfully remain your

Thomas E. Körp
Senior Partner | Bear Lawyer, LLC