Tag Archives: Christmas

Have Yourself a Bear-y Little Christmas

Have Yourself a Bear-y Little Christmas

DISCLAIMER: Lightness of heart may be a sign of a serious and potentially fatal cardiovascular condition; consult your doctor if you experience chest pains or dizziness related to holiday festivities.  Absence of proof of trouble is not proof of absence thereof. Gayness of Yuletide is a Constitutionally-protected right, though full legal recognition may as yet be limited in certain areas. Troubles in mirror may be closer than they appear. Happy golden days of yore not available in all areas. Proximity and oral professions of faith by—and perceived dearness of—friends are no substitute for a thorough and legally binding contract. Fates are fickle; prolonged togetherness not guaranteed. Exercise caution when hanging shining stars upon highest boughs. Immediacy and merriness of Christmas, though universally wished, cannot be guaranteed.


Season’s Greetings!

What are you doing browsing the Internet on a day such as this? Stop it. Stop it right now.

The woodland offices of Bear Lawyer, LLC will be closed until Tuesday, January 8, 2013.

Feel free to go and spend some quality time with friends and family—just remember to take it easy on the nog.


Bear Lawyer Collects a Gift Tax


Bear Lawyer is Given Advance Notice


Bear Lawyer Hopes This is Covered by His Homeowner's Insurance

Slick on the cavetop—a reindeer falls!
Out jumps anxious Santa Claus,
Straight from his sled with a righteous yell
To find the den-owner and give him hell.

Uh-oh oh! Wouldn’t you know!
Uh-oh oh! Wouldn’t you kno-ow!
Armed with a ballpoint—click click click
Fast with the lawsuit is good Saint Nick.



Bear Lawyer Issues a Cease & Desist


Bear Lawyer is Under Surveillance

(Indeed, Bear Lawyer’s tumultuous history with the CEO of Claus Industries is fairly well-documented: #25, #121, #214.)