Bear Lawyer Anticipates the Fall Harvest

The BigLaw firms may have their pick of the 3L litter, but Bear Lawyer has always found that, with a little patience, stealth, and luck—plus or minus a stun gun, a bottle of chloroform, and a large hempen sack—even the smallest legal shoppe can bag (and/or net) itself a gunner or two.


4 responses to “#386

  1. New York State Environmental Regulations §6.66: Law Student Trapping Regulations

    (a) Any person with a valid New York State Trapping license may trap law students between September 1st and May 1st.

    (b) Trapping of law students with deadfalls, baited traps, pens, water bottles, padfolios, free books, or internships is permitted. It is unlawful to use currency, pro sports tickets, and/or hard liquor as bait.

    (c) It is unlawful to use any steel-jaw, coil, or spring trap to trap law students, or any other method resulting in bodily injury and/or withdrawal from law school.

    (d) It is unlawful to chase or herd law students from a snowmobile, helicopter, or Lear jet.

    (e) It is unlawful to shout “free beer”, “class outlines”, or “sample exams” for the purpose of trapping law students.

    (f) It is unlawful to trap law students within 100 yards of law libraries, clinic offices, courthouses, bar review meetings, or bars.

    (g) It is unlawful to trap any law student elected to a student bar association or a senior editorial position on a law journal or review.

    (h) It is unlawful for a trapper to disguise themselves as a law professor, law school employee, research service or bar review sales representative, hot undergraduate, hot medical student, judge, or Above The Law blogger, for the purpose of trapping law students.

    (i) A bounty of no more than $50 shall be paid to any trapper presenting the ears, tail, or tongue of a Common Gunner (discipulus lex loquendi) to any law professor or agent of the Department of Environmental Conservation.

  2. Your restraint is admirable, BL. So many would just tree a few dozen, shake them down into nets, and then sort through at leisure.

    (Excellent detail and perspective! Surely that took more than 4 hrs!)

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