Bear Lawyer Experiences a Meeting of the Minds

Behold! The only thing worse than an overly-aggressive fixed-gear hipster-cyclist: an inattentive, anachronistic hipster-cyclist. (The underlying mutual agreement being that the act of renting and riding a high-wheeler was one of the stupidest ideas which this particularly well-concussed swell has had to date.)


4 responses to “#370

  1. An excellent demo of “taking a header,” and probably the double concussion. I don’t envy the brain of man who’s head ran into a bear skull at 30 mph, and then hit the pavement. Perhaps this incident demonstrates the impetus behind the latest “sticker” movement http://observer.com/2013/07/gimme-an-s-gimme-an-h-shiti-bike-stickers-take-over-nyc-twitter/

    • To be fair, the moustachioed and be-derby’d cyclist’s penny-farthing is not, itself, all that “shiti”—it looks to be rather durable, all things considered—though his awareness of pedestrians could certainly stand some improvement. In all likelihood, he was distracted by a smudge of pomade on his smoked pince-nez, by the sudden chiming of his minute-repeater pocket watch, or by a scandalous flash of ankle by some comely passer-by, and thus failed to note the ambulatory ursine attorney attempting to cross the bike lane directly in front of him.

  2. I hope that person is alive there. :D. Actually it does demonstrates the latest “sticker” movement.

    • By all accounts, the reckless rider survived more-or-less intact, and has been seen cruising jauntily up and down and the bike lanes of the city to this day. Admittedly, this has been difficult to confirm or deny, and Bear Lawyer’s attempts to obtain redress for this cycling assault have thus far proved fruitless. By the time BL came to, he had already been whisked away to the local veterinary clinic for evaluation and treatment and, upon revisiting the scene to provide a statement to the constable, could find no evidence of his anachronistic assailant but a telltale curbside smudge of pomade scented with cedar, ylang ylang, and ho wood.

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