Bear Lawyer Detains Suspects for QuestioningFreelancers performing recon for a rival firm? Agents of a foreign power? Intelligence contractors with the NSA? CIA? DHS? FBI? IRS? FWS? Bear Lawyer doesn’t know what your game is, tiny privacy-invaders, but he’s not about to let you go without first getting some answers.

4 responses to “#364

  1. The one sobbing at the bottom of the bottle is too far gone to question. The smoker is obviously hardcore. As for the one vigorously trying to attract your interns’ attention? Hmmmmm.

    Perhaps these bugs were hired by BL’s interns to gather evidence in hopes of starting a suit? Eric Glatt, et al., v. Fox Searchlight Pictures, Inc might have given them ideas. On the other hand Cycloneda sanguinea (the spotless ladybug) is found in mainly in Latin America. Perhaps BL is in trouble with a coffee cartel?

    • An incipient rebellion amongst the interns, you say? Bear Lawyer is fairly certain that such mutinous measures constitute a breach of contract, the specific remedy for which involves the liberal application of tear gas, water, and a rattan cane.

  2. Just be sure to give them access to a lawyer. You don’t want to get hit with a habeas carapace petition.

    Alternatively, rendition to the nearest garden spider’s web might be in order…

    • Bear Lawyer is not yet certain that these pests are anything but invasive, and therefore may be classifiable as enemy combatants for whom habeas carapace need not apply. In which case BL knows of a certain argiope aurantia whose maximum-security parlour is sorely lacking for guests.

      Still, for the interim, ’tis better to err on the side of civil rights; Bear Lawyer will be sure to give Clay T. Gadfly, esq., a buzz as soon as possible.

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