Let’s see… small, flightless, slow-moving on land, clumsy on ice, no opposable thumbs… huh. Absent any external upgrades—like, say, a pair of mechanized trousers or a demonic wishing eye or some such techno-magical mumbo-jumbo—exactly how are penguins supposed to be a threat to bear-kind, let alone an impediment to the return of Lord Stanley’s Cup to the Cradle of Liberty?
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