Bear Lawyer Questions the Legality of the Proffered Tender

Bear Lawyer found it disturbing enough that his retainer fee was delivered via air drop—from what appeared to be a propeller-driven dreadnaught piloted by terrapins and sentient fungi, no less—but to then discover that his new clients intend to pay their bills with digitally-derived “gold” coinage? Quite frankly, after recent turbulences in the COMEX, Bear Lawyer has no overwhelming desire to take a risk on an overly volatile “currency”, let alone one issued by some podunk fiefdom of mushroom farmers and pipe foundries.


5 responses to “#348

  1. Now, now, BL, let’s not be hasty. Robert Wiedemer is predicting a market correction of up to 90%. Buffet, Soros, and Paulson have already dumped their US stocks. Gold has also taken a slide recently. Digital coin collectibles may prove the most valuable item a bear can horde.

    • That may well be the case, but from what Bear Lawyer has been able to ascertain so far, these particular 8-bit coins are distressingly commonplace in their country of origin, and serve little purpose aside from purchasing, at an outrageously inflated cost of B⃦100, an eerily chartreuse variety of non-toxic/non-psychedelic amanita muscaria unique to the area—which, if they are anything like the edible floral arrangement which came with the above-seen coin-spewing Box of Intrigue, are apt to cause a rather serious bout of gastrointestinal distress, including but by no means limited to intense heartburn and *ahem* incendiary emissions.

      Now, BL may be able to parlay a deal with a local moustachioed plumbing contractor who, along with his twin brother, has professed an affinity for those so-called “uno fino” mushrooms, but still. It’s not like the office-glen’s all-natural septic system is all that unreliable, or that a stalwart intern with a shovel and a pair of waders cannot perform the same service just as easily (and far more cost-effectively).

  2. “Thank you Bear Lawyer! But your retainer fee is with another client!”

    • Curses!

      Those delinquent reptiles had better pay up, and quickly. Bear Lawyer has been known to burn bridges when financial dealings go sour—and word has it that these would-be clients prefer to build theirs over molten lava, with conveniently located axes besides.

  3. Pingback: #377 | Bear Lawyer, LLC

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