Bear Lawyer Takes Advantage of a Latent Ambiguity

Fortunately for Bear Lawyer, it would appear as though the Greater Publick House—the bartop of which is purportedly crafted from timbers salvaged from the wreck of Donald McKay’s magnificent down-easter—missed the memo cosigned by the (since-defunct) No. 1 Chinese Buffet and Brazilian Max’s Churrascaria regarding the need for clear language when offering all-you-can-eat specials in bear-accessible environments. The ursus a. iurisconsultus in particular is known for its tendency towards strict interpretations of the written word, and the pub’s manager can rest assured that, true to his overly literal nature, Bear Lawyer will insist upon the sign’s expressed promise of unlimited hot-wings in exchange for a single quarter-dollar.


4 responses to “#345

  1. Four wings for a dollar would still be a great deal, Bear Lawyer … unless, I suppose, you’ve already eaten 500, in which case you’ve got to try whatever works 😉

    • A bear’s gotta do what a bear’s gotta do—if that means running up an excessive bar tab to compensate the establishment for overindulging in (and insisting upon an advantageous interpretation of) a vaguely-worded AYCE special, then so be it.

  2. When patrons go overboard on the specials, Greater Publick House staff usually mention the salvaged bar timbers they are dining on came from the guano hold. Though I think that (disputable) fact will deter BL rather less than, say, unplugging the flat screen mid the March Madness?

    • Bear Lawyer is armed with jaws of steel and a stomach of cast iron, so even the threat of petrified soil in aging timbers will not daunt him in his chicken-consuming endeavours.

      As for unplugging the television, woe betide the unfortunate barkeep who attempts to come between a bear and his mealtime news coverage.

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