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#321

Bear Lawyer Makes a Firm Offer

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4 responses to “#321

  1. Same principle as the New York Bar’s new pro bono graduation requirement.

    • Less pro bono, more pro ursus. While a stint with Bear Lawyer, LLC may be just as lucrative—which is to say, not at all—as a semester or several of clinical work, it is far and away less nurturing, as Bear Lawyer is much less likely to hold an intern’s hand during a nettlesome case than to crush it for trying to nip an espresso from the commissary without permission or reimbursement.

      Ever a lover of Nature’s creative-destructive processes, Bear Lawyer treats his newly-netted interns like so many lumps of anthracite: to be burned or crushed until long hours and heavy use leave them spent and useless, or ’til the high-pressure work environment has transformed them into cold, sharp, virtually indestructible nuggets of legal brilliance. Cut down the rough edges and give ’em a good shining, and such bright survivors of the BL,LLC intern programme fetch an excellent price on the open job market (finder’s fees, headhunting services, etc.).

  2. Just out of curiosity, what is BL’s ratio of interns netted and crushed to interns princess cut and priced to move?

    • Better than expected, given the relative rarity of the tougher-than-nails constitution required to survive, let alone thrive within, the woodland law offices of Bear Lawyer, LLC. Say, 20:1?

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