Bear Lawyer Makes a Counter Offer

7 responses to “#319

    • However extrapolated and hypothetical, End Times call for desperate measures—not to mention that the overpopulated herd of would-be JDs could stand a bit of culling now and again. That, and 1Ls are so much easier to replace than associates; let’s just hope that Kukulkan isn’t too picky.

      (For what it’s worth, Bear Lawyer was already wearing the Mayan get-up—he knows a guy who knows a guy to whom ol’ Mel G. owed a favour, hence the “Apocalypto” costumery—and simply gave young Rupert a much-needed shearing after a bit of more-or-less harmless hazing. After all, such unkempt coifs are unbefitting for a professional office-glen, and BL has discovered loose strands of ginger in his coffee more times than he cares to mention. Steps had to be taken.)

  1. Rupert was an excellent choice as I believe there are those who might disbar BL for going the more traditional route of capturing an opposing attorney’s 1L, painting him blue, and then ripping out his still beating heart.

    Besides, red hair, red heart . . . same difference. Especially when trying to pass red hair off as cinnamon in the sacred Mayan drink is a crime against the gods! Bad, Ruprecht, very bad!

    • While it is not uncommon for Bear Lawyer, LLC and its legal fellows to trade their respective interns’ transferable contracts like so much chattel—say, during a friendly game of whist or conkers—Bear Lawyer has not, himself, gone so far as to try to assert the spoils system after defeating an opposing attorney, whether in the court of law or on the sporting field. Though doubtless easier than preying upon gullible stragglers at law school job fairs, Bear Lawyer imagines that such predatory practices would run afoul of a good many federal and state laws, let alone the GCIV.

  2. Could we sacrifice them some Tier 3 or Tier 4 law schools while we’re at it? Yeah, I know that’s more the Aztec way of doing things, but they had the right idea…

    • Though it may be something of a small kindness to the faculty, students, and staff at the Third- and Fourth-Tier levels—not to mention the ancillary benefits of thinning the herd for the profession as a whole—for reasons legal, moral, and practical, this bear would not advise such wholesale slaughter of would-be JDs. (Just think of the negative impact on the financial market, with its heavy investments in graduate student nextlahualli.)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s