Bear Lawyer Scales the Party Wall


4 responses to “#287

  1. I prefer TWG to Twinnings personally

    • One would imagine that the fine brews of The Wellness Group flow like, well, tea, in your particular neck of Southeast Asia, but a bear must needs be economical when it comes to high-volume consumables. Compare, if you will, a 200g (approx. 7.05oz.) tin of Twinings’ Earl Grey loose leaf at US$7.99 against 3.5oz. of TWG Earl Grey “Gentleman Tea” loose leaf at US$30.50. Then consider the projected thousands upon thousands of attendees at the Tampa Bay Times Forum.

      Yeah, about that…

      This bear may have an exceptionally refined palette when it comes to all things comestible, but he also knows a prohibitively inflated price when he sees it—and that, however civilizing it may be, the piquant notes of such a fine brew would likely be lost upon the rowdy rabble at the RNC.

  2. One can always vouchsafe one’s passage though a rantipole RNC tempest by putting on the universal sign of neutrality: the black bowtie of catering. Let us hope the party appreciates BL’s excellent service, sensible civility and bosky cologne.

    • A rantipole of ranting pols is indeed a perilous place, and while hiding in plain sight would doubtless provide a canny solution to Bear Lawyer’s persona non grata predicament—and aid in his tea-dispensing activities besides—odds are that the mere addition of a starchy collar, black bowtie, and silver service, while likely enough to fool the everyday delegate and high-rolling Republican élite, would do little to deter the trophy-seeking ilk from such ursus-averse states as Alaska and Montana. Bad news for bears, that lot.

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