Bear Lawyer Takes Precautionary Measures

3 responses to “#111

  1. i like that the same hunter has made a reappearance … only for continuity’s sake … i feel bad for BL

  2. Bear Lawyer has learned to deal with the near-constant threats to his person during hunting season, and has, since the close call shootout of the previous year, managed to work out mutually-acceptable rules of engagement with The Hunter.

    First and foremost, BL’s den, home office, WC, and near vicinity are off-limits (in keeping with established NYS Dept. of Environmental Conservation regulations) and thusly considered areas of non-aggression. Likewise, The Hunter may be vouchsafed in his own campsite, provided that its location and perimeter are established in advance and marked accordingly.

    Secondly, a pre-hunt parlay is required at least one month prior to The Hunter’s planned outing, so that BL might clear his schedule and make the necessary preparations. Such as putting in an order for a case of non-lethal MMRs and alerting the local gaming authorities as to the goings-on in his neck of the woods (as both a courtesy and a safeguard).

    Thirdly and most importantly, both BL and The Hunter have agreed to use non-lethal force during what essentially amounts to a hunting/wilderness survival exercise—The Hunter converts his rifle to use low-velocity man-marker rounds, and BL sheathes his claws in favour of a rubber training KA-BAR. Worst-case scenario, there’s some nasty bruising or abrasions from tussling on the ground.

    Really, it’s a win-win situation for everyone involved: The Hunter is guaranteed to track and face-off with an inordinately intelligent prey, and Bear Lawyer reconnects with his ursine roots without fear of death. They spar for points and pride rather than trophies and hides, and the loser treats the winner to dinner at a restaurant of his choice.

  3. Pingback: #196 | Bear Lawyer, LLC

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