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Case Log
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Bear Lawyer Tweets:
- *checks newsfeed* Oh, hey there, @NHLBruins. Nice. 8 hours ago
- *yawn*! So, what's new, Twitter? 8 hours ago
- Et tu(ukka), Rask? Ah, well. Back to Boston! Stay hungry, #Bruins. 2 days ago
- Goodness. How many Rangers does it take to guard the goal? More bodies than ice in the 4x6. #Bruins 2 days ago
- Gah, those power plays… gotta kibosh those faster than the BigLaw aspirations of a fourth-tier 1L. 2 days ago
Ye Book of Faces
Merchandising!
Legal Resources
Worthy Distractions
- A Softer World
- Bad Machinery
- Cat and Girl
- Cucumber Quest
- Darwin Carmichael is Going to Hell
- Diesel Sweeties
- Dresden Codak
- Erfworld
- GastroPhobia
- Girls With Slingshots
- Great Showdowns
- Gunnerkrigg Court
- Gunshow
- Happle Tea
- Hark! A Vagrant
- Johnny Wander
- Kiwis by Beat!
- Lackadaisy
- Life in the Analog Age
- My Cardboard Life
- Nedroid
- Nimona
- Octopus Pie
- Overcompensating
- Penny Arcade
- PvP
- Reptilis Rex
- Rice Boy
- Scenes from a Multiverse
- Shì Lóng Pàng
- Sinfest
- Templar, Arizona
- The Abominable Charles Christopher
- The Meek
- The Secret Knots
- The Trenches
- The Wormworld Saga
- Three Panel Soul
- Three Word Phrase
- Tiny Kitten Teeth
- Wondermark
- xkcd


The Hot Dog King is just watching all this. Why? Because he knows Bear Lawyer (and other victims of fowl play) will simply turn around and buy more product from him. Isn’t that called continuing criminal enterprise?
While the Hot Dog King’s stoic demeanor might strike one as suspicious, it must needs be known that he is but a powerless figurehead atop a throne of pickled relish. A long-suffering victim of avian racketeers, the Hot Dog King and his once-proud realm suffer daily under the oppressive yoke of the winged demons. Truly, their incessant squawks, irreverent bowels, and never-ending demands for tribute have left the lowly vendor bitter and broken.
No—sympathetic though he may be to Bear Lawyer’s present plight, the Hot Dog King knows full and well what viciousness awaits any man (or bear) who would seek to deny the gulls their unfair share. The Felafel Pharaoh down the street tried it once; they fed him his own nose, on a pita, with tahini.
He hasn’t been the same since.